| Junior Gets Married | |
|---|---|
| Season 2, Episode 14 | |
| Episode guide | |
| Previous President Bush's Motorcade |
Next Department Investigation: Part 1 |
"There goes the porn. There goes the porn. Oh, baby. That was my dad's. That stuff's irreplaceable."
Summary[]
Junior ends up married to a mail order bride when busting a human trafficking ring goes wrong.
Cold Open[]
Body Armor Test. Clementine shoots at the body armor (for once, thankfully, on a mannequin) with a 50 caliber 357 Magnum. The mannequin has a coffee can-sized flaming hole in the back. Dangle says, "This can't be good."
Plot[]
At morning briefing, Dangle announces, after numerous complaints to Internal Affairs, that a disciplinary auditor will be joining the team and observing them for two weeks for any infractions of the code of conduct in how they treat people due to race, gender or disabilities. Dangle urges them to be on their best behavior. As he makes this announcement, a little man (Jon Simanton) in a nice suit stands next to Clementine. She spots him and screams in surprise. Everyone laughs uproariously, except Dangle, who tries to signal them to stop. Jones lifts the small man up by the armpits and says, "Did you do this?" The man pulls out a badge and suspends everyone.
Two weeks later, Dangle announces a sting operation of a sex slave ring. Junior plays the husband-to-be. Dangle is happy that they will be giving this poor woman her freedom. Junior signs the paperwork, and when he hands over the check, the bust goes down. The paperwork which turns out to be a marriage license, properly notarized. Junior, instead of seeing that it is dissolved, immediately announces that he's married, thus actually perpetuating the human trafficking he's supposed to stop. The bride apparently didn't realize she was getting married either, as her expression changes when she is told this in Mandarin.
At a LARP party, Boozehammer of Galen explains why a member of his party is pierced with a real arrow. As he flees with "boots of escaping," he is felled by a bullet (oddly enough, shot by Garcia, though he no doubt was aiming center mass and only got Boozehammer in the leg).
Garcia and Jones taunt a man in a milkshake costume. When he throws a shake at their car and runs, they pursue him.
At Junior's home (or rather, camper), he says that he's enjoying married life. His wife speaks to the camera that her name is Yuen Chong-Hwa and begs for rescue, as if she has been kidnapped. The only words Junior understands are "Reno, Nevada" which he cheers on.
At the children's hospital, Clementine is dealing tarot cards and deals a little boy the death card. Choosing instead to do astrology, the boy's sign is Cancer the Crab.
At a bar, a naked man with an automatic shotgun makes demands. He makes a swap with Junior for a gun, finding out that the shotgun was a toy and now the man is armed.
Garcia and Jones pursue the milkshake into a yard with dogs. They leave the guy getting chewed on by dogs, but then spot him wandering away unmolested and continue the chase.
Partying at Junior's camper, the officers see how the new couple is getting along. Asked if she knows karate, Junior demonstrates that every time he goes to touch Yuen, she slams him into the wall. Wiegel speaks to her in fake Chinese. Yuen has learned some English, calling Junior "Cock-sucker" which he interprets to refer to the Year of the Cock.
Jones and Garcia chase the milkshake man into a lake. Thinking he drowned, they find him breathing through the prop straw and swimming to safety.
Williams and Clementine ask a man in a folding chair who has lost his trained falcon whether the falcon has brought him an eyeball, as there is a homeless man in the ICU without an eyeball.
Jones and Garcia declare a truce with the milkshake man. He says that his costume is so padded that the beatings don't hurt at all. They give him a Rodney King-style smackdown, and he laughs that he doesn't feel a thing. They part amicably, and Garcia hits him one more time. The milkshake man comically falls backwards into the street, where he's hit by a truck, leaving behind only the yellow shoes.
Junior and Yuen talk to the camera. Junior is hoping for children someday. Yuen, now resigned instead of desperate, says in Chinese that the big black friend of Junior's (Jones) would be hot to marry and he looks like he has money.
Dangle and Junior get a call of a wintergreen Winnebago Coachman being driven by an angry Chinese woman. Junior recognizes his plate number and calls back that she's "not angry, that's just how they talk. That's how the voice sounds." As they approach, she is hurling out his clothing and irreplaceable antique porn from the driver window. Junior leaps out, runs up to the slow-moving Winnebago and climbs aboard, entering through the skylight. After a moment, the coach drives to the left side of the road and Junior is hurled bodily through the window into the ditch. Junior decides to let Yuen go with his camper, because if you love something you set it free.
After work at the bar, Junior has a letter from Yuen (whom they all refer to as "Wahhh"). They ask what it says. He has no idea. Williams suggests heading to Wok Around The Clock to find someone to translate, but he doesn't think he'll be eating Chinese anytime soon. On the TV at the bar, Maria Storm announces a vigil is held for 31-year-old Andy Freeman, the milkshake man. Home video of Jones and Garcia beating the guy and seemingly shoving him in front of a truck.
Behind The Scenes[]
Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant provide commentary on the DVD. Observations include:
- The actor playing the auditor (Jon Simanton) had previously played an elf in a line-up in another episode (where the five little men don't realize they are being set up for a Christmas card). He's described as very game, glad to have elf work in February, and though he wasn't told in advance Cedric was lifting him up, went for it for the sake of the scene.
- The actress playing the wife did a scene where she's holding a cigarette, and it made her sick the next day. Lennon commented that he doesn't just go through packs a day of cigarettes, he goes through lighters, so it was hard for him to understand being that sickened by smoke.
Note[]
Garcia felling the D&D player with one shot is out of character for him, except that he no doubt wasn't aiming for the leg.